5 essential Q’s to break the Anxiety Cycle
The anxiety cycle is a tricky one, because the more we try to fight it, the more it sucks us in.
Maybe you interacted with a new co-worker and found yourself replaying the conversation afterward (over and over again). You might think “it’s just to make sure I didn’t say anything weird,” yet the longer you replay the conversation the more anxious you feel.
Or, you might struggle with thoughts like “does my partner really love me?” The question feels so uncomfortable to sit with, you find yourself asking your partner for reassurance despite enjoying a healthy relationship. Their answer provides sweet relief…until the thought pops up again a few days later.
When we feel anxious, our natural reaction is to try and minimize that feeling. Usually, in our attempts to get rid of anxiety, we feel the urge to do something.
Check, rehearse, replay, avoid, tap, count, the list could go on.
The thing is – we all do this. Everyone experiences moments of anxiety followed by an urge to do something to make it better.
The difference is that sometimes that action step (checking, replaying, seeking reassurance) becomes excessive and anxiety feels out of control if we can’t complete it. This usually leads us to repeat these actions, interrupting our routines in order to accomplish them.
That’s it in a nutshell: the anxiety cycle.
So how do we break out?
To live less interrupted by anxiety, the first step is to increase our awareness of how anxiety is impacting our life. If you’ve made it here, you’re already working on this!
Next, we need to understand where you’d like to go. Why do you want to live a life uninterrupted by anxiety? What do you regain?
Now, to treatment. Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) is my go-to when working with clients struggling with anxiety/OCD/phobias, anything in the anxiety disorder category.
ERP lives under the umbrella of cognitive behavioral therapy which is all about how our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors influence each other. With ERP, we focus on entering situations (exposures) that allow our anxiety to come up, so that we can practice resisting compulsions (response prevention) that don’t help us in the long run.
Compulsions refer to those “anxious actions” I mentioned earlier.
Our new response — sitting with the feeling of anxiety, builds our muscle of tolerance, and helps these experiences become less triggering over time.
Helping you get back to a life you love.
Questions to reflect on right now, at the start of your journey:
How does anxiety impact my daily life?
What specific actions do I take in a day that, if I was prevented from doing them, would cause me to feel anxious?
What would change in my day-to-day life if I did not feel anxious about _________?
What would I gain if I could be free from anxiety? (time, peace, accessibility, etc)
How can I reduce the “anxious actions” I take in a day?
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All blog posts are for educational purposes. Not individual advice, not a replacement for therapy.
